A conclusion

Hello readers! It has been a year, so perhaps it is finally time for an update.

In May 2018, I had a draft partly written, reflecting on my time soon after leaving Amazon, on the verge of my journey to Poland. But suddenly, things changed. A had a major back episode that almost prevented me from going to Europe as planned. Ultimately, I was cleared to go, however after just a week and a half in Poland (which I may add was phenomenal), I went down again with an even worse back problem. An MRI revealed I had two herniated discs, which were putting pressure on a nerve that runs down my right leg. I couldn’t stand or sit, relegated to laying down 99.9% of my days. I was trapped in Poland, unable to leave my Airbnb, and unable to get to or sit on a plane. I was alone for weeks, finding creative ways to slither to food and water. I had some help from two generous friends for several of those days. I was ultimately rescued by a very devoted mother and flight insurance. It turned out to be an extraordinary learning experience, having to think on my feet, get serious medical treatment in Poland, and accept the support of many gracious friends, family members, and kind Poles. I did wind up getting back to Europe a few times over the last year. In fact I am healthily writing to you from Sweden. I had the great fortune to visit England, Scotland, Germany, and Italy too. My last hurrah begins in Portugal, alongside my first new step, but more on that later. I did get to drive across the United States and a sliver of Canada, visiting 24 different states and provinces over 2018 and 2019. My back was something I had to care for through all experiences, but it didn’t prevent me from having an incredible year.

I thought many times of writing to you, but I realized, I didn’t need to like I once did. I used to love writing because it helped me explore my thoughts, feelings, and ideas, and more importantly, gave me a place to express them to others. But what I’ve realized is that I don’t have that need to be heard so much anymore. Nowadays, I’m much more interested in listening and experiencing. Why spend so much time speaking through writing, when I can be reading, hearing someone else’s experience?

What also became clear to me during the last year, was that I didn’t feel happy with a day-to-day existence being measured by how much profit I generated for someone, particularly without a clear reason as to why we needed that profit. I knew that I needed to pursue a life where I measure my day-to-day success by how much I help people. I thought about how and where I thrive, and what my natural skill set is. Eventually I figured out that I would fit well into the world of psychotherapy. A world where I can study how people work, and help them become their best selves. But where? Being all around the world, going through illness, and watching people be born or pass away, clarified things for me. I knew that I needed to be close to my family, and have decided to settle on the east coast of the United States where my family is. I will begin a Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at The College of New Jersey, starting this July in Lisbon, where I will spend four weeks! Then it continues in New Jersey starting this August.

I wouldn’t have gotten here without everything that came before. In particular, I had an incredible experience in Seattle, with many amazing people at Amazon, and I wouldn’t give back those four years. And I couldn’t be more thrilled with the last year. This was one of the best decisions of my life, which brought tremendous clarity and meaning to me. If anyone is considering something similar, please feel free to reach out and discuss. 

I experienced places, people, and cultures I hadn’t. I spent quality time with the most important people in my life. And I am confidently on a new path to a more fulfilling life. 

Thanks for reading. This life will always be evolving and changing, but without a doubt, it is finally and conclusively reconfigured.


Brandon